Crushes. Dating. Relationships. Couples. Love.
I’m the type of person who would give up having a significant other or a meaningful relationship, if it meant that everyone I care about was able to find their happily ever after.
I see it around me all the time, especially in college: people pairing up, going out on dates, falling in love with each other. Sometimes I ask myself why I can’t seem to find that as well, but I don’t grow jealous of the people who were fortunate enough to find it. I’m no more deserving of love than the next person, and they’re no more deserving than me.
It’s just not my time yet, and I’m just another one who it will happen for later on down the line. I’m one of the waiters, the hopers, the dreamers. And it’s funny, because I almost always find someone I’m interested in when I least expect it.
Having the past 10 months to think about the type of person I am in a relationship, I’ve realized a few things. When I fall for someone, I fall hard. When I care about someone, I give them my all, and I strive to make sure they know I care about them, always. I’m a true believer in monogamy, and I treat every relationship like I’m in it for the long-haul. What’s the point in being with someone if you don’t see a future, or potential for a future?
That’s just my perspective. Not to say that I’m the kind of person who needs to hear wedding bells before I’ll agree to go out to dinner; I’m low key, but I also don’t believe in wasting my time.
I’ve also learned in the past 10 months that I don’t do hook-ups very well. Intimacy is something that I can only share with someone I feel a connection with, and I can’t engage in it being unattached, because it takes all of the meaning out of it for me.
I’m attracted to people who can hold a conversation and who don’t necessarily need talking points to be completely revolved around them. I’m a communicator at heart, and it’s appealing to me when others can do the same. Having goals and a sense of compassion for something is also an appealing attribute in my eyes — I’m all about being passionate about what I do, and it’s refreshing when I find someone who wants the same for themselves.
I hang out with a very communicative group of people; there’s always something to talk about when we get together, even if it’s something minuscule or light-hearted. It’s healthy for me to be around people like that, because I think constantly communicating is what sparks my inspiration and creativity. It causes me to think about why things happen the way they do, and I’ve learned a lot about myself in real-talks with my friends at 2, 3 and 4 in the morning after a long night of goofing off.
I think I’m even happier watching the people I care about find their happiness than when I find it for myself. I’m not really sure why that is, but there’s something about watching the story unfold that puts a smile on my face. I’ve admitted many times that I have a tendency to be self-sacrificing, but I wouldn’t change that about myself.
If giving up my own happiness means that everyone else is able to have it, than I wouldn’t have it any other way.