It’s a painful thing that I’ve had to witness many times in my life — watching someone self destruct.
The thing that I have to keep telling myself over and over again though is that I can’t save everybody, and I think that’s something everyone needs to be reminded of at one point or another.
It’s not worth losing yourself and getting dragged down in someone else’s mess if there’s absolutely no chance of making it better for them. Sometimes you have to let people self destruct and see themselves for what they’ve truly become before they’ll come out of it.
And you’ll keep telling yourself “Maybe if I stick around, it’ll get better.” “With time, I can change them and help them see the light.” “It won’t be like this forever, I’ve seen them better before and they’ll snap out of it.”
Sometimes, you have to stop telling yourself these things. Sometimes certain people just aren’t worth it, even if temporarily. They need to see you walk away to see the damage they’ve done, that what they’re doing to themselves isn’t just hurting them anymore, and that if they don’t stop, the consequences are dire.
It’s a funny thing too, because these people may have been worth sticking around for at one point, and will probably be worth it again at some point in the future. You keep telling yourself to stick it out, because you know what they could be because they once were that person, and that they can come back to it. The people we care about often times have a way of coming back, even in the most minuscule of ways. But sometimes, that doesn’t happen.
They’re not always going to get better.
You can’t always rely on the light to come with time.
They won’t always snap out of it.
And you can’t always spend your days pining for those simpler times again. Because it’s very possible that they’ll never come back, and you need to move on to save yourself.
It sounds like I’m saying everyone should give up on each other when times get tough, but that’s not true. I’m a firm believer in standing by someone’s side, always. You have to be able to stand by someone in the good times and the bad in order to know the relationship is meant to last. But there will come a point where it’s not just about healing them; it’s going to become about healing you too, because you’ve become collateral damage.
Don’t become collateral damage. Protect yourself at all costs.
I say this because I’ve been that person before: sticking around for the long haul and hoping the other person would come to their senses. And for that reason, I spent my time with certain people for much longer than I probably should have. Because when I know someone’s heart is still there, even if it’s buried, I do anything I can to find it again. I pride myself in being that person who can see the good in everybody, even when no one else can.
You have to know when to walk away, because depression, angst and pain can spread like an infectious disease. People go through tough times and sometimes they try to drag others down with them to make themselves feel like they’re less alone. These people need help, and if you care for them, you should always make it known to them that you do care. And that you want to be there for them.
But you have to look out for yourself first, and sometimes that means walking away.
Driven By Daydreams 