“Real growth comes from taking chances”
— Charlie McCormick
Today I realized that I’m taking quite a few chances this year.
I told my father I was going to get through this school year without any financial assistance from him, and so far he hasn’t had to take out any loans for my education.
I started up this blog again, and I took a leap and told my friends about it, who have all told me they enjoy reading it. It’s definitely surprising to me whenever someone says they enjoy reading my writing. You’d think I’d be used to it by now.
I stepped down from my job at the paper and am applying for other ones, as well as some summer internships. I have my first interview tomorrow, and while it’s not my first and most certainly not my last, I’m shaking in my boots just thinking about.
(I really am wearing boots right now, for those of you wondering.)
This afternoon was supposed to be my break/nap time since I decided to be a good student and get all of my homework done the night before. Instead, I was shopping for interview clothes, writing cover letters and compiling a portfolio of clips in hopes of looking somewhat prepared for tomorrow afternoon. I always get intimidated when I have to talk about myself. I’m pretty sure talking about myself is probably my worst and most hated talking point.
And the risk taking keeps on coming.
I’m currently searching for any opportunities available for me to get my writing published — especially beyond the USF spectrum. I’m planning a trip to leave the country this summer, and hopefully will be in the form of a volunteer abroad to either Ghana or Belize. And with all of these upcoming interviews, that means jobs and internships that can take me to an infinite number of places. I’m applying for gigs in cities ranging from Tampa to Dallas to D.C., and the possibilities are endless with doing so.
I think the spontaneity of it all is freaking out my best friend a little bit, because I have no idea where I’ll be this summer or what I will be doing. It scares me too, but I know it’s something that I have to do. I’m taking every chance possible, and seizing every opportunity afforded to me while I still can. I won’t always have the ability to dash halfway across the country for a temporary experience, but that’s what college is for.
It’s about taking these chances, learning what I like and don’t like, and finding myself somewhere in the midst of it all.
If “Procrastination Nation” ever needed a mayor, I’m pretty sure I would be a solid candidate.
I’m the type of person that needs to know for sure that I have absolutely no time remaining in order to be able to force myself to sit down, focus and get shit done. It’s a frustrating problem, but it’s one that I’ve been trying to combat lately.
I’ve been trying to do homework before deadlines have the chance to sneak up on me. I ponder story ideas in my head so I’m not blind-sided or empty handed when the due date arises. I make lists, brainstorm and plan out everything lately, and it’s saved me a hell of a lot of stress.
I think being on a tight schedule is beneficial for me though. I churn out some of my best work when I only have an hour or so to do it, because I’m forced to pour out the need-to-know info and keep going. Deadline writes, or stories that are written with the intention of going live or to print immediately after they’ve been composed or edited, have always been an exhilarating experience for me. I love fast-paced work environments because they force me to think quickly and act quickly, and I seem to get better results that way.
Most of my work lately has been of the creative nature because of my journalism classes, and the image above is a clear representation of what I go through with many of my stories. In my advanced reporting class, we have anywhere between two to three week to turn in our stories, and I always wait until the last minute. I need a motivator, and a lot of times, my deadline is my motivator because I have to have something convincing me to finish the story.
If I get excited enough about the story that I don’t need a deadline though, that’s how I know it’s a good one.
I’m working at fixing my creative process this semester so that all the time spent in the red zone of the chart isn’t wasted anymore. Ideally, I want to spend it planning, researching and interviewing, and then spend the yellow and green zones on my writing and revision. My favorite part of story writing is when I piece all of my information and reporting together, and I want to be able to give myself enough time to enjoy that part.
That way, there’s less panic, and more passion.
“‘We swim in an ocean of stories.’ Sometimes it’s worthwhile to just toss the net into the water and see what rises to the surface.”
– Brady Dennis, on finding unexpected stories (Nieman Storyboard)
On Wednesday I wrote. And wrote. And wrote.
Some of that writing ended up turning into a story for the Montage section of the paper, something that was completely unplanned, spontaneous and left my stomach tied in knots the rest of the day. At first, I thought I was feeling guilty about why I was inspired to write the story, and that I should feel bad about it.
I realized the confusion I was feeling was because it was a feeling I hadn’t experience in quite awhile — I was proud of myself, and, finally, it was not because someone told me that I should be.
The common denominator in all the things that I write that I’m proud of is this: I love them the most when they’re something I’m passionate about. When I realized that I only want to write when I have a story that I want to tell, and not because I’ve been told to tell it, I knew I had to explore that possibility that much more. Hence why I’m blogging more, journaling more and submitting my work to online magazines more.
It always happens when I least expect it, and it comes along with a budding passion and a growing desire to create something. And I can’t fake it; anyone who has read my writing can tell when I don’t care about it because I half-ass it. I’ve been told before that sometimes my writing can be lifeless, and I’ve seen it too.
But I know there’s more potential than I’m giving myself credit for, and that’s why I’m okay with writing stories on my terms and my own time.
We had a guest speaker in my advanced reporting class who told us he was once asked whether he considered himself a reporter or a writer. For those who aren’t in journalism, there is a distinction. Reporters are curious question-askers who write about their observations. Writers write to tell stories, and the reporting is just a tool to help them accomplish that effectively. The guest speaker told us he considered himself a writer, and I agreed with him. Journalism for me is an outlet, and a very fun and exciting one at that, but it’s not all I do.
I write because I have something to say. Because I have a story to tell. Because I want people to be able to see what I see.
And that is why it is all a happy accident.
Driven By Daydreams 